Tag Archives: Chinese

Mine Eyes Have Seen the “Glory of Superlative-Inspiring Trophy Projects”!

I would never defend China’s ability to screw up, any more than I would defend America’s. Continue reading

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Apocalypse Later

And if Mr. Camping missed the boat, that’s completely inconceivable because he was the first one to lay odds that May 21st was the day, even though historically nothing has ever happened on May 21st and it’s as though May 21st had never even existed until he brought it up–check your calendar! Continue reading

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Rich, Fat, and Sassy Chinese

We’ve had the answer to weight-loss the whole time and never even saw it nestled in between the Twinkies and Doritos. If you want to lose weight, you should be eating dessert as the first course of every meal–even breakfast, which is basically dessert with milk on it anyway. Continue reading

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Diet, Disease, and Geography

Diet, disease, and geography go hand in hand. And since I know that many of the people reading this are eating American food and don’t want to move to China, cheer up! At least you’re not eating English food.
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Tarzan Lands on the Moon

I’m sure when the Chinese land on the moon the first man down the ladder will not sound like Tarzan the way Neil Armstrong did. Continue reading

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The Best Little Whorehouse Isn’t in Texas

Don’t you think most people would know if they spent a night in a whorehouse? Continue reading

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Stupid’s with Me

In fact, the Chinese will work circles around each other, keeping busy from sun up to sundown. Even the kids. Even the kindergarten kids. It’s enough to make you shake your head with both wonder and some sadness. But that’s just me, a westerner, unaccustomed to demanding extreme discipline and sacrifice from pre-school children. Continue reading

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