The Common Yahoo


We have never before heard from the Common Man as much as we do now, and those hog butchers and candlestick makers who make up the salt of the earth, who once were voiceless, and whom we only knew through literature and fairy tales, now have been given a voice by internet blogsites and things like Yahoo that actually ask for comments on news stories, and then the invited masses make such a gawd-awful racket, being yahoos so to speak, that you really wonder how it is that on the surface our society even remotely appears civilized.

And it doesn’t matter what they talk about–whether its sports, politics, family, religion–it’s all the same conversation. You can actually take a thousand comments on say, gun control, change “gun” to “beer” and then put them into a forum discussing beer, and nobody’s the wiser. Half of the blathering isn’t even on topic as many “contributors” foam at the mouth about taxes, gas prices, or the Louisana Purchase.

But just as almost nobody is a pure yahoo, almost everybody has a bit of yahoo in them, including me, and I rarely had much opportunity to assert my opinions to the world in general until I stumbled upon the realm of blogging. Now I can “assert” whatever I want and say the stupidest things on the internet like any yahoo, and the best part is that I’m protected by an invisible wall of electrons from the abuse of my peers. What freedom! And if the electrons fail me, I have a second line of defense, and that is the vacuum that I’m blogging into. Let’s admit it folks, except for that one-percent of superstars who get prodigious hits, the rest of us might as well be blogging into space.

I mean, have you seen the number of WORDS submitted to WORDPRESS in a day? 108,051,475 so far today, and the day’s not half over. A hundred-million words is roughly the size of the Pacific Ocean. If anyone thinks that they’re going to put their little post into a bottle and throw it into an ocean that big, and that anybody’s ever going to find it, let alone read it–other than their friends and relatives–then I have news for you…. Uh-oh, look! The number is now up to 108,625,261. Up more than half-a-million words since starting this post. Case closed.

So I can write anything I want and it’s a safe bet I’ll never suffer any consequences for it–isn’t that exhilarating? And most bloggers hate it when they don’t get any hits, and if they get hits but don’t get any comments, they feel worse. Not me. I’m perfectly content to ride my little WordPress spaceship in that big void of silence, just like Bruce Dern in Silent Running, who worked in complete harmony with his three pint-sized robots, Huey, Dewey, and Louie after he killed his co-workers or locked them up or something.

William Faulkner once said, “The last sound on the … earth will be two human beings trying to launch a homemade spaceship and already quarreling about where they are going next.” But not me, I’m not arguing with anybody. I’m leaving all by myself, and I do it every day.

[I have been instructed to “cite” the above William Faulkner quote by pasting the below into my “document,” to wit:]

Chicago Manual Style (CMS): The_last_sound_on_the_worthless_earth_will. Columbia World of Quotations. Columbia University Press, 1996. http:/// (accessed: March 24, 2011).
Modern Language Association (MLA): Columbia World of Quotations. Columbia University Press, 1996. 24 Mar. 2011. < http://>.
Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE):, “The_last_sound_on_the_worthless_earth_will,” in Columbia World of Quotations. Source location: Columbia University Press, 1996. http:///. Available: Accessed: March 24, 2011. 
BibTeX Bibliography Style (BibTeX)   @article {Dictionary.com2011,title = {Columbia World of Quotations}, url = {http://}

About soaringdragons

Twenty years and still alive--in China, that is. I write about China and the world of spirit--all very non-expertly--and whatever else strikes my fancy. You'll find posts on even days of the month.
This entry was posted in Living in the Universe and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Common Yahoo

  1. sillionshine says:

    The problem with silence, as Nixon should have known, is that it is very hard to distinguish a silent majority from a silent minority, or indeed from a single person who has been rendered unconscious by his or her distaste for being patronized. In Nixon’s case, he was probably right, but I think that you can take heart from being read by a silent minority of readers who appreciate well-crafted entries on well-chosen subjects, which is far better than being drowned out by a multitude of voices who forget what started all the shouting in the first place.

    So, far from piloting a craft into a void of silence, I am sure that since this entry, the comments from others on your blog who are not so silent has convinced you that your progress is being eagerly followed and charted, and we here at Ground Control wish you well, and any silence is merely contemplation of the food for thought you’ve given us.

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